If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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