some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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