we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
