Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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