On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
