Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
