I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
