I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
