may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
