Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
