You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize