How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize