Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
