need another drink. this is the easiest way
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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