I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
