the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
