apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
