they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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