Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
