his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
