I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
