my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
