i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
