I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
