Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
