She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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