Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
