i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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