this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
