Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
