Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
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