why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
