how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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