DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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