If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
