OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
