I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize