Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
