Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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