I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
