So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
if only i could text you this smell
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
