Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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