Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
