this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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