I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
