I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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