He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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