Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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