i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
