so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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