I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
