her vagine was all disorganized.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
whose ass print is on the piano?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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