I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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