What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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