I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
