I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Found your dick twin last night
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
