Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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