fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
