I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
