I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
