This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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