Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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