Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
