and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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